Paradise in Front of Me
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Success Happens on the Uphills

3/31/2014

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On St. Patrick's Day weekend, I ran my first 5K race in several months. It was a brisk, windy morning in Roanoke, and I was admittedly out of shape. At about the two mile mark, I was beginning to feel the results of my lack of consistent exercise this winter. I was chugging along in the middle of the pack as we approached our first uphill climb. It was then, I noticed something interesting: As the runners ahead of me approached the hill, there heads immediately dropped. Their shoulders sagged a little in anticipation of the grueling ascent ahead of them. Since writing the book and starting the blog, I find myself more aware of moments like this. I tried to shake off my feelings of fatigue and decided that I now had an opportunity to make a move. I would use the uphill to my advantage.

In Honduras, as documented in the book, Cristina and I faced plenty of uphill battles. There were many times when failure seemed certain. Perhaps our biggest enemy to success was time. We had two years to accomplish our goals. We spent the first year adapting to our new culture, learning the language, and ultimately identifying the areas where we could possibly defy the odds. The second year was spent implementing the plan and working diligently with an inspiring group of youngsters. Ultimately, we achieved more than we ever imagined.

I often wonder how much more successful I could be in my own life if I approached every uphill battle like Cristina and I did in El Paraíso. What if I treated the seemingly most insurmountable task as if I had only a month, a year, three years to complete it? 

In 2010, my wife and I made the decision that we no longer wanted our daughters in day care. Confronted with the reality that we needed a second salary to make ends meet, I decided to start my own business that could be operated from home in the evenings. This would enable me to be home with the girls during the day. We had about eight to twelve months of savings to pull from before my business needed to be making enough money to keep our family financially sound. It was a daunting task, and I was scared to death. Motivated by the desire to have our girls at home and driven to ensure that our decision would not lead to financial ruin, I poured every ounce of energy I had into the business. Cristina and I worked together in the evenings, never letting the idea of failure diminish our pursuits. Within six months, my business was thriving. 

I wish I could tell you more stories like this. In reality, I cannot. I spend too much time complaining, blaming other people or circumstances for my unhappiness or lack of success. The race, the observation of the effect the hill had on those in front of me, was revealing. Recently, that's how I've been approaching the hills in my life. It's a reality I need to change. I like this article, and the author's ten ways to become more resilient as a place to start.

I finished 43rd in the race. It was an unspectacular finish, but I did make up some ground on the uphill stretch. In my life, I've found the most success in such situations. I believe that's probably true for most of us. When faced with a difficult situation, we have a choice: We can either put down our heads, sag our shoulders and prepare to fail, or we can look at the hill and tell ourselves, "This is where I thrive."

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PIFOM Friday

3/21/2014

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Paradise is . . . having all your stuffed animals with you in bed.

This PIFOM moment is courtesy of my daughter. She had misplaced her four (there is a small white lamb buried in there) favorite stuffed animals. Finally, after a few days, she found them together in a corner of the basement where she had placed them and then forgot. When I asked her which stuffed animal she wanted in bed with her, she replied, "All of them!"

Have a wonderful weekend everyone and please leave your PIFOM moment from the week in the comments below. Thanks for stopping by.
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Being Positive in the Present

3/17/2014

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I absolutely love this Tedx Talk by Shawn Achor. I think it's a great way to kick off the week. In the video, he discusses how we can wire our brain to experience happiness. At the end, he provides five researched and proven methods for experiencing more happiness in our lives. Those things are:

1) 3 Gratitudes
2) Journaling
3) Exercise
4) Meditation
5) Random Acts of Kindness

In another interview, Achor states that the biggest obstacle to achieving happiness is our failure to do the things listed above despite the fact we know they work. I'm hopeful this blog is a source of valuable information and helps others achieve more fulfillment in life by focusing on positive events and continuing a theme of the book, Paradise in Front of Me . Regardless of whether or not that happens, committing myself to maintaining this blog has proven to be the best strategy I could have developed personally. It's my form of journaling. By sticking to my goal of making two posts weekly, on Monday and Friday, I am forced to be continually on the lookout for positive moments in my life. 

So, take the time to listen and then think about ways you can implement his ideas. I'd love for you to share things that work for you personally. Staying positive in a world that bombards us with the negative is not easy, but, like Achor says, we have proven ways to increase our own happiness by changing our lens. I hope you enjoy it. Here are a few of my favorite quotes from his talk:

"Normal is merely average . . . If we study what is merely average, we will remain merely average."

"It's not necessarily the reality that shapes us but the lens through which your brain views the world shapes your reality. If we can change the lens, not only can we change your happiness, we can change every single educational and business outcome at the same time."

"In reality, if I know everything about your external world, I can only predict ten percent of your long-term happiness."

"If happiness is on the other side of success, your brain never gets there."
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PIFOM Friday

3/14/2014

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Paradise is . . . rocks and a creek.


It's PIFOM Friday and time to share another great moment from the week. A trip to the local park resulted in these photos. I'm convinced our ancestors once relied on throwing rocks into bodies of water for survival. How else can you explain the innate joy we all seem to get when encountering a rock and a lake, creek, river, pond, etc.? It's an instinct that is shared among the young and old alike. It always cracks me up to watch my girls run up to a pond. The first thing they do is start searching for the perfect rock, one that will make a big splash. Of course, I do the same thing.


Have a wonderful Friday, and please feel free to share your PIFOM moment from the week in the comments section below. 
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The Joy of Serving Others

3/10/2014

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My mom was busy. Dad spent a lot of time traveling and was away from home frequently. Mom was raising three children, balancing schedules, and doing all of the other things necessary to run a household. Somehow, amid all of this, she always found time to serve others and to encourage us to do so as well. Sometimes it was as simple as helping out a neighbor, while other times her service to others was more involved. I remember riding along with her as we delivered lunch and dinner to elderly, homebound individuals as part of the Meals on Wheels Program. 

In 1994, as a sophomore at James Madison University, Father John Grace encouraged me to participate in a spring break trip to Mexico. It was an idea spearheaded by Father John to provide college students an opportunity to spend break learning about another culture and serving others. With encouragement from my parents, I made the trip that changed my life. Since that trip, I've attempted to make service to others an integral part of my life.  There are selfish reasons that accompany my desire to help those in need. I enjoy it immensely. I feel better about myself and the world in which I live. There is great joy in being useful and meeting others who feel a calling to serve.

From 2004-2006, Cristina and I served as Peace Corps Volunteers in Honduras, work that inspired the book Paradise in Front of Me and the creation of this blog. The photo on the right is from Cuyalí. My counterpart, Erica, is seen about to enter a home. I accompanied her as we walked door to door ensuring that every child had been vaccinated against a variety of illnesses. For two years, I had the opportunity to learn from and assist the beautiful people of Honduras. I watched as people in El Paraíso, many of whom had so little, would drop everything to help out a friend and neighbor. There are several stories in the book that demonstrate their unbelievable desire to give. Their example, and my opportunity to serve as a volunteer, cemented in me the absolute joy that comes from serving our fellow man. 

Life is busy. It's busier for some more than others. I make excuses as to why it's inconvenient to help my neighbor, give time to an event at my church, or simply donate blood. Excuses are easy to find in our hectic world. Then, I find time, and I remember exactly why the simple act of serving others is so fundamental to a fulfilling, happy life.

The picture on the left is of my two girls. From the inspiration of my mom, life has come full circle. Now, my daughters accompany me as we volunteer twice a month with Meals on Wheels. They place the food in the basket and bring it to the door. They are greeted with enormous smiles and words of gratitude. I want them to soak in these moments, to recognize the gratitude on the faces of the clients and to be overwhelmed with the joy that comes from living a life of service. 
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PIFOM Friday

3/7/2014

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Paradise is . . . the first signs of spring.


Welcome back to PIFOM Friday where we share a wonderful moment from our week.



It's been a long and cold winter in Virginia. Today, there is snow on the ground and temperatures around freezing. However, earlier in the week, temperatures rose into the 60s. My girls were ready to get outside and enjoy some warmer weather. Those first hints of spring are always greeted with happy thoughts of warmer weather to come. 


Happy Friday everyone, and please share a PIFOM moment from your week.
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Bike Tour of Your Town

3/3/2014

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The other morning, I was resting in bed, skimming a favorite website. I stumbled upon an article about taking a bike tour of Sydney, Australia. I was fortunate to spend a summer in the beautiful city about 10 years ago. Of course, reading the article had me longing for taking such a trip and jealous of the author. I was reading at about 6:30 a.m., while the rest of the house was sleeping.  In the spirit of Paradise in Front of Me, I grabbed my bike and decided to take a bike tour of my town, Roanoke, Virginia. 

I encourage everyone to do something like this on a morning when very few people are out and about. Exploring my town by bike, early on a Saturday morning, was a unique experience. It was quiet and relaxing, and I found that I noticed subtle beauty in places I've passed a hundred times in my car. Take your camera. I find that the simple act of carrying one encourages me to slow down and look for something special. My favorite picture in this sequence is of the white house. Throughout Roanoke, and cities all over America, are homes like this one. What stood out to me, though, was the orange sign plastered on the front. It says, "Restoration in Progress." 

In El Paraíso, I learned the value in embracing my community. It's easy to find faults in any place. but to spend time harping on the flaws will only make getting out of bed each morning that much more difficult. So, as spring approaches and the weather warms up, dust off the bike, roll out of bed early one morning, and find the hidden gems lurking around your town. On my tour, I didn't find a Harbour Bridge or anything resembling the Sydney Opera House, but I did enjoy the subtle beauty that makes Roanoke it's own, unique city. If you are so inclined, share a picture or two with us of something new and interesting you discovered on your tour. Or, just sleep in and enjoy these pictures of Roanoke. Either way, thanks for reading.
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    Author

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    Kevin Finch is a writer and private reading tutor in Roanoke, Virginia. He is the author of Paradise in Front of Me, a collection of short stories documenting his time as a Peace Corps Volunteer in Honduras. 

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